artwork by Alec Does Art
We love the writing of The Damp Cardigan. For more check his wordpress. But for now meet The Damp Cardigan in:
An Unexpected Journey (Thread and back again?)
Here’s an odd one. A couple of times I have been asked where the name Damp Cardigan came from. An intriguing and futile question to say the least but his got me thinking about names and, specifically, the process of naming anything. I have had a long standing and strange and idiotic obsession with changing my own name as the one my parents bestowed on me kind of makes me sound like a physics teacher. Sometimes, the moniker given to a particular thing can transcend its own purpose and be the defining feature.
To start this off obviously, look at how J.R.R. Tolkien named one of him most famous characters. Gandalf the Grey was named seemingly after the colour of his wizard robe which was imaginatively, grey. His name did change though post resurrection. He became Gandalf the White and based on previous evidence a strong case could be made for his new robe doubling as garment and adjective. I like this style. It’s straight to the point and leaves no grey area (sorry). Using this technique I would forever be known as Phil the Knitted and my three year old boy as Son of Wool. While we’re in Middle Earth lets apply the villain’s name to our Prime Minister, but we’ll only change the one letter. If anyone is going to be a vengeful reptile who pillaged a peaceful people in order claim the treasures for himself it will be are very own Smug the Dragon.
The music industry is the easiest well to plunder for examples of pure idiocy and inspiration. Band names can be hilarious, brilliant, terrible and obscure and often are a good indication of what’s on offer. For instance, the heavy metal world is populated with really aggressive sounding efforts where it’s apparently fine to call your troupe of black-wearing screamers something like Black Death Fist Fuck. Indie bands tend to stick to names that indicate a less masculine approach to their craft, like Snow Patrol or Starsailor. It suggests a more sensitive result as opposed to their vaguely misogynistic contemporaries. The idiocy lies in the hands of bands like the, used to be good but are now terrifyingly shit, Kings of Leon who have a massive problem with certain nouns being on fire. If a pseudo statement of sexuality is being made here then I’m definitely missing it.
It should also be mentioned here that the lead singer of The Walkmen’s ACTUAL name is Hamilton Leithauser. This is probably the best thing I’ve ever heard ever in the history of things being heard by my ears, except for Led Zeppelin.
So then, Damp Cardigan? Am I making any sort of statement here? Is this part of a biting piece of social commentary? It could easily represent the ills of the world and our role in a declining society. We wear our hopes and dream for a fairer system of society on the sleeves of the dampest of knitted garments. It may look spectacular; cardigans are good like that. The problem is it doesn’t fit right. It’s a heavy burden on our shoulders and water-logged with the kind of mass failure that can only be drizzled by the Conservative. It sticks to us as a reminder that even the act of removing it will be an unpleasant experience with an indeterminate outcome. I would like all of this to be true but, unfortunately, I’m not that clever.
It could just be that when asked to name my blog it was the stupidest thing I could think of as the very word (blog) is unfairly the modern day moniker for fruitless endeavours. But even that would be too clever wouldn’t it?
It could just be that I’m a bit of an idiot.
Phil (the Knitted) Watson
